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#51 2/12/2012 7:09 pm

Twinfan
Member
From: Gotham
Registered: 11/17/2008
Posts: 6241

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

shadowalex5 wrote:

My story is better! :3

What story? You posted like four sentences lol.


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#52 2/12/2012 7:20 pm

CViper
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From: Salford, Greater Manchester
Registered: 8/8/2009
Posts: 8039

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Well he posted something that could be loosely described as sentences.


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#53 2/12/2012 7:27 pm

Walrus King
Member
From: Tennessee
Registered: 12/2/2009
Posts: 4570

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

I almost forgot about this Alex, thanks.


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#54 2/12/2012 7:29 pm

Slicknife
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Registered: 7/10/2010
Posts: 6607

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Actually it was me who revived it.

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#55 2/12/2012 7:30 pm

Walrus King
Member
From: Tennessee
Registered: 12/2/2009
Posts: 4570

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Good job Slick, fuck you Alex.


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#56 2/19/2012 5:47 am

Walrus King
Member
From: Tennessee
Registered: 12/2/2009
Posts: 4570

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

I've been working on this story today and after a while I realized there were inconsistencies which have already been posted on here. So now i'm going to have to fix those. If anybody actually gives a shit, I apologize that i'm going to have to make some minor changes to what you've read. Plus, I would appreciate it if anyone would point those out for me. I don't care a whole lot about this story, but I did actually have a plot in mind and having inconsistencies bugs me a little bit. After doing that, I will probably read over all that i've posted on here (which is about 25 pages double-spaced on Microsoft Office Word), then I will continue writing this. I already have a bit written and I probably won't just post all the new material in one post like I usually do, but purposely space it out (probably one half of the new stuff one day, and the other half two days afterwards) so that there will be a little bit of suspense without the multiple-month intervals.


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#57 2/19/2012 5:56 am

shaft711
Member
From: Massachusetts
Registered: 5/17/2011
Posts: 2264

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Have you sold the movie rights yet?


Now is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho?

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#58 2/19/2012 2:48 pm

Shrub
Moderator
From: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Registered: 5/14/2009
Posts: 9155

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Walrus King wrote:

I've been working on this story today and after a while I realized there were inconsistencies which have already been posted on here. So now i'm going to have to fix those. If anybody actually gives a shit, I apologize that i'm going to have to make some minor changes to what you've read. Plus, I would appreciate it if anyone would point those out for me. I don't care a whole lot about this story, but I did actually have a plot in mind and having inconsistencies bugs me a little bit. After doing that, I will probably read over all that i've posted on here (which is about 25 pages double-spaced on Microsoft Office Word), then I will continue writing this. I already have a bit written and I probably won't just post all the new material in one post like I usually do, but purposely space it out (probably one half of the new stuff one day, and the other half two days afterwards) so that there will be a little bit of suspense without the multiple-month intervals.

Oh thank god, I'd thought you'd given up on the series.


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#59 2/19/2012 5:39 pm

Slicknife
Member
Registered: 7/10/2010
Posts: 6607

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Uh, these aren't a series, just different parts of the same story.

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#60 2/19/2012 5:41 pm

Shrub
Moderator
From: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Registered: 5/14/2009
Posts: 9155

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Doesn't that describe every series?


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#61 2/19/2012 5:43 pm

Slicknife
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Registered: 7/10/2010
Posts: 6607

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Actually, I meant they are chapters.

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#62 2/19/2012 5:48 pm

Shrub
Moderator
From: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Registered: 5/14/2009
Posts: 9155

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Chapters are sequential, and therefor in a series.


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#63 2/19/2012 5:49 pm

Slicknife
Member
Registered: 7/10/2010
Posts: 6607

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Ok, you win.

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#64 2/19/2012 6:27 pm

Walrus King
Member
From: Tennessee
Registered: 12/2/2009
Posts: 4570

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Shrub, I need Gottfried to be unbanned to edit parts of the story unless you'd prefer that I just tell what what to edit. I was wracking my head last night over the inconsistency I saw and I realized it requires a simple deletion, which would go unnoticed in the midst of all the rest of the crap in this story. Basically (I'm not about to give away spoilers, everything i'm about to describe has already been posted on here) when Leonard is describing how he found the time machine, he points out that he had to show it to the guy who funded the project. Later in the story, after Clive and Leonard have been doing their own business for a while, Leonard says something like "Oh yeah, I was supposed to tell the guy who funded this that I got the time machine", which obviously already happened. But as I mentioned in my last post, I'll read the entire story later today and hope that nothing is out of place.


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#65 2/19/2012 6:33 pm

Shrub
Moderator
From: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Registered: 5/14/2009
Posts: 9155

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

No idea why he's banned in the first place. You may commence.


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#66 2/19/2012 6:58 pm

User972302
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From: I am 18 yrs. old
Registered: 1/14/2011
Posts: 5590
Website

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

lol Gottfried.


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#67 2/19/2012 7:17 pm

Reaganrocks
Member
Registered: 12/23/2010
Posts: 3863

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Shrub wrote:

No idea why he's banned in the first place. You may commence.

You banned his alts because he kept trying to circumvent bans, so you just banned all of them.


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#68 2/19/2012 8:45 pm

Gottfried B. Oner
Member
Registered: 10/8/2010
Posts: 57

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Here's the next part:

Both the elevator and the shaft it went down were made entirely of glass. As they were going down, Leonard and Clive saw a large laboratory with advanced technology and hundreds of workers. Once they got down to ground level, Gore led them to a small room in the corner of the lab.

“Alright guys, I’m going to introduce you to some of the key members of TLESG and then you will privately meet with David Icke.”

“I thought you already met him Leonard,” said Clive.

“Nah Clive, he sent messengers to talk to me, but golly-gee-whiz am I excited to meet him in person!”

They then walked into the room. The “key members” in the room were the two head scientists of TLESG, Zecharia Sitchin and Erich von Däniken, and lower rank scientists Phillip Johnson, L. Ron Hubbard, and Peter Venkman. After that Albert led Leonard and Clive to David’s private office and then left them. There was nobody there, just a desk and a chair behind the desk facing the wall.

“Sit down” came a low dark voice from behind the chair. Leo and Clive obeyed.

“I have questions for you men, but I presume you have many questions of your own as well, so I’ll let you two start with yours.”

“Why is the back of your chair facing us?” asked Clive.

“So that you won’t know what I look like obviously. I don’t stay in this base all the time; I have to get out occasionally. What if one of you decided to kill me and you saw me out in the real world, where I was completely defenseless.”

“Well what if I just got out of this seat and walked around to see you.”

“Then I would turn the chair around.”

“Then Leonard would see you.”

“You are a clever man, Clive, we need more people like you in this organization.”

“Yeah you definitely need more sane people here.” Clive thought to himself.

“Any other questions?”

“What’s the point of this ‘organization.’?”

“I originally developed it as a social outlet for those of us looked down on as ‘pseudo scientists’ or ‘lunatics’ but its sole purpose now is to eliminate the Babylonian Brotherhood.”

“Ok, where do you get your funding?”

“I have friends in the U.S. Government. Anything else?”

“No, that’s it for now I guess.”

“Excellent, now it’s my turn to ask questions. Leonard, I’m assuming you accomplished the task I gave you?”

“Yeah, I got the Time Machine.” Leonard replied.

“Any intel?”

“Uhh, not a lot, although I got this pamphlet thingy.” Leonard then handed David the pamphlet.

“Hmm, interesting…” Icke mumbled as he scanned the pamphlet, “What is this supposed to be?”

“What is it?” Leonard asked, “Read it out loud.”

“Despite all these advancements, there is one device which the Elite Military Agency has tried but failed to create for millennia, a device that upon completion, will ultimately submit the human race to complete control by the Babylonian Brotherhood, thus fulfilling the goal of the Elite Military Agency. The creation will degrade humans to the point where they will see no purpose in living, they will feel like shit (literally as well as figuratively). Once the device is near completion, we will manipulate a group of humans to corral certain types of humans together, as a test to see how we can corral the entire human race together. Once the device is truly complete, we will stop testing. We will force all humans into a single enclosed area, and then reveal ourselves to them. Then we will apply the device to them, and the only hope they will have to end their torture is to obey our every word. The details of how the device works will be decided by whoever actually invents it, but the basic idea is that a certain amount of humans will be sown together, mouth to anus, meaning that some humans will be forced to eat other human’s shit. It will be known as The Human Centipede.”

“Is this a fucking joke!?” yelled Clive. “All the incredible technology that the BB has invented and making people eat other people’s shit is all they care about?!”

“It’s what I’ve suspected all along, Clive,” replied David. “It’s the reason that I hired Leonard to find the Time Machine, I read his doctoral thesis on feces and I decided that he was made for this job.”

“Fuck this shit,” replied Clive. “Time-travel, lizard-people, crazy conspiracy theorists, and SHIT! I’m not gonna bother with this anymore, I’m just going back to my normal life.”

“That’s unfortunate Clive, I thought you wanted to kill all other races besides white people. The League of Extraordinarily Strange Gentlemen and I could easily help you with that goal, if only you would help us with ours. You’ve already seen what I have, you know that I certainly have the means to help you.”

“Alright, you got me. But if I’m going to work with this stupid little organization of yours I need some background here. For example, what exactly do all these people you’ve hired do, and where did you find them?”

“As a whole, this organization is essentially a giant research team. All the people you saw on your way to meet my top scientists were researchers. They look up random bits of information and try to find things that lead us to the BB, such as technology that may be BB influenced, or politicians and celebrities who might be lizards in disguise. My top scientists then try to put that information together and come up with theories of their own and create technology to fight the BB. We also hope to popularize our ideas in the media someday, to get more people to resist the BB, but we don’t know how we’ll do that without getting the BB to target us. The BB are obviously the most secret organization in the entire world, most of the battle is simply knowing what they’re trying to do and how to get to them. If you want me to, I could elaborate on some of the ideas my top scientists are working on.”

“Sure, why not.”

“Even though they all agree the BB are the central problem, they often disagree about how exactly the BB plan on taking over the world. I’m sure you noticed this with Al Gore and Mel Gibson. I always believed that it had something to do with shit, and this latest bit of information confirms that, but there’s obviously still a long way to go before we can find out the entirety of their plan. I’ll explain each of my scientists take on the BB. Sitchin and von Daniken refer to the BB as the Annunaki and they believe that the BB came to Earth thousands of years ago and gave humanity certain kinds of technology to help them become successful, and that one day they will turn technology back on humanity. They hope to popularize this one day as Ancient Alien theory. L. Ron Hubbard believes that in the distant past we were all thetans. The thetans are purely spiritual beings who created the universe, but after doing that some of them lost their spirituality and became part of the material world. These are modern day humans. After that, the rest of the thetans got angry with the humans for doing this and they came down on earth as the BB. He hopes to popularize this as Scientology. However Peter Venkman has suggested that the BB are still spirits, what we would nowadays call ghosts, and that they shape of a lizard is simply a disguise in itself. He has tried developing weapons to fight the ghosts with and he is working on a documentary about it. The working title is currently “Ghostbusters”. Lastly, Phillip Johnson agrees with Hubbard that the BB created the universe, and he thinks that most scientists are BB members in disguise. His reasoning for this is that fairly recently scientists have tried pushing for materialistic explanations of the origin of the universe and life, such as the Big Bang or evolution. He hopes to convince people that the world simply could not exist as we know it unless there is a being that created it. This is known as Intelligent Design theory, and the Intelligent Designers are assumed to be lizard-people, obviously. Now, I want you and Leonard to bring this pamphlet to my scientists and have them try to figure out the ideal time period for you two to visit to stop this “Human Centipede” from happening.”

“Actually, David,” replied Clive, “I think I already know when to go. Leonard, we need to head back to Nazi Germany.”

To be Continued

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#69 2/19/2012 8:51 pm

Shrub
Moderator
From: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Registered: 5/14/2009
Posts: 9155

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Have you considered a career in writing?


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#70 2/19/2012 9:26 pm

shadowalex5
Member
From: Louisville
Registered: 8/26/2008
Posts: 3203
Website

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

CViper wrote:

Well he posted something that could be loosely described as sentences.

Trololololo

This is what I have so far.

Introduction:
I try to gasp for air as running as if I had been through a war-zone. I soon realized this wasn't the speed of a normal human. I really needed to go slower; someone may notice, but I dont care, I need to get to the Academy. As I rushed through the forest coated in thick spider webs, I knew there was only one option. It was now or never. I forced my wings out of my shirt, and took off to the sky.

"Damn, I ruined another good shirt... at least I lived to see another day." Soaring over the forest felt breath taking. The forest looked beautiful from the sky, but I now know the hellish conditions on foot. I definitely didn't want to go down there again.

I could see the bright colored walls of the Academy. The Academy was painted by students that used to stay here. The Academy is primarily painted gold, yellow, and orange. The other paint is from students that decided to leave their "mark" at the Academy.

"Alex, you're late to class!"   

Beginning to chapter one:
I descended to the earth. Now that I was near the Academy many it was easy for others tell what I've been through. I walked past all of the dorms, and now began to head to the first class of the day. The first class I had was survival, and I woke up early this morning to practice some of my skills. Obviously I'm doing a pretty decent job at the moment.

As you may tell this isn't any ordinary school. I might as well explain to you what this school is really about. This school isn't meant for ordinary people. The goal is to teach people with "gifts" how to survive in peace and harmony with humans. Yes, the students here aren't necessarily human, and for the ones that are, they're about two percent human.

Last edited by shadowalex5 (2/19/2012 9:43 pm)


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#71 2/19/2012 10:14 pm

Ninjamongoose
Member
From: Garbanzo land
Registered: 7/14/2010
Posts: 2583
Website

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

shadowalex5 wrote:

CViper wrote:

Well he posted something that could be loosely described as sentences.

Trololololo

This is what I have so far.

Introduction:
I try to gasp for air as running as if I had been through a war-zone. I soon realized this wasn't the speed of a normal human. I really needed to go slower; someone may notice, but I dont care, I need to get to the Academy. As I rushed through the forest coated in thick spider webs, I knew there was only one option. It was now or never. I forced my wings out of my shirt, and took off to the sky.

"Damn, I ruined another good shirt... at least I lived to see another day." Soaring over the forest felt breath taking. The forest looked beautiful from the sky, but I now know the hellish conditions on foot. I definitely didn't want to go down there again.

I could see the bright colored walls of the Academy. The Academy was painted by students that used to stay here. The Academy is primarily painted gold, yellow, and orange. The other paint is from students that decided to leave their "mark" at the Academy.

"Alex, you're late to class!"   

Beginning to chapter one:
I descended to the earth. Now that I was near the Academy many it was easy for others tell what I've been through. I walked past all of the dorms, and now began to head to the first class of the day. The first class I had was survival, and I woke up early this morning to practice some of my skills. Obviously I'm doing a pretty decent job at the moment.

As you may tell this isn't any ordinary school. I might as well explain to you what this school is really about. This school isn't meant for ordinary people. The goal is to teach people with "gifts" how to survive in peace and harmony with humans. Yes, the students here aren't necessarily human, and for the ones that are, they're about two percent human.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0t9VDjZrHwK


*Farting*

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#72 2/19/2012 10:59 pm

shadowalex5
Member
From: Louisville
Registered: 8/26/2008
Posts: 3203
Website

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

Ninjamongoose wrote:

shadowalex5 wrote:

CViper wrote:

Well he posted something that could be loosely described as sentences.

Trololololo

This is what I have so far.

Introduction:
I try to gasp for air as running as if I had been through a war-zone. I soon realized this wasn't the speed of a normal human. I really needed to go slower; someone may notice, but I dont care, I need to get to the Academy. As I rushed through the forest coated in thick spider webs, I knew there was only one option. It was now or never. I forced my wings out of my shirt, and took off to the sky.

"Damn, I ruined another good shirt... at least I lived to see another day." Soaring over the forest felt breath taking. The forest looked beautiful from the sky, but I now know the hellish conditions on foot. I definitely didn't want to go down there again.

I could see the bright colored walls of the Academy. The Academy was painted by students that used to stay here. The Academy is primarily painted gold, yellow, and orange. The other paint is from students that decided to leave their "mark" at the Academy.

"Alex, you're late to class!"   

Beginning to chapter one:
I descended to the earth. Now that I was near the Academy many it was easy for others tell what I've been through. I walked past all of the dorms, and now began to head to the first class of the day. The first class I had was survival, and I woke up early this morning to practice some of my skills. Obviously I'm doing a pretty decent job at the moment.

As you may tell this isn't any ordinary school. I might as well explain to you what this school is really about. This school isn't meant for ordinary people. The goal is to teach people with "gifts" how to survive in peace and harmony with humans. Yes, the students here aren't necessarily human, and for the ones that are, they're about two percent human.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0t9VDjZrHwK

Fuck you.


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#73 2/19/2012 11:47 pm

Shrub
Moderator
From: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Registered: 5/14/2009
Posts: 9155

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist


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#74 2/20/2012 12:13 am

shadowalex5
Member
From: Louisville
Registered: 8/26/2008
Posts: 3203
Website

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist


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#75 2/20/2012 12:20 am

CViper
Member
From: Salford, Greater Manchester
Registered: 8/8/2009
Posts: 8039

Re: The Time-Traveling Racist

[insert sexy English accent here]


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